I toil and strain and attempt with all I have to do my best.
I struggle and stretch and push the limits for good results.
I'll never get there and I'm well aware, but this world has become so convincing.
Nothing I can do will be worthy of you on it's own.
Nothing I can say will praise you how you deserve.
You are to be worshiped and I even need assistance in that at times.
This world tells me I haven't heard you.
People tell me I don't need you.
Success is measured so differently here and it's pulling me in.
Silence the crowd and let me hear you.
When you have spoken let me not deny it.
When you are moving get me over the barriers so that I can continue to run with you.
I want to know where you are going.
I want to be there with you.
Lord, you don't need me, but I need you.
Powerful Lord, I pray that you include me.
Humble me so that I can join in your work.
Lower me so that I can lift you up where you belong.
Grab my hand and don't let go.
Tenderly rock me when I have met my end.
Bring me back with you, back home in your arms, cradle me and allow me into your presence.
I praise you day in and day out.
I don't deserve how you've helped me.
I pray that I do all things to give back to you.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Ramblings of the Broken and Needy
How I long for the day I will be with you forever.
I long for a time when you'll give me words that are bigger than any I can speak here on Earth.
I yearn for the opportunity to be pure and holy and to bow down before you.
I am desperate for a time when I will no longer have these trials and struggles,
where I will no longer stumble and fall in my sinful desires.
Lord, who am I but your creation?
Who am I to take this life as my own?
Why do I keep trying to hold onto the reigns?
You've promised me you'll keep me, that you won't let go.
Why am I so afraid to give you all of me?
The questions bring more questions,
and the trials never seem to end.
I falter and I fail you
over and over again.
I hung you on a cross - how is it that you still take me in?
I've nailed your hands and feet,
my transgressions were there on Calvary.
You felt the pain of my disobedience.
Your father turned his face away.
Oh, why do you love this mocker?
Tears stain my face and my sins mar and blemish me.
I am so in need, so desperate.
I am nothing without you.
I boast in nothing, beside your sacrifice.
Your death and resurrection has brought me into real life.
Lord, how can it be that you sent your son for me?
Why would you humble yourself just to set us free?
We've become a nation of unbelief
- and I hardly trust my ability
to praise you as I should, Lord, I need your stability.
I run to other gods and fill my life with clutter
I make back-up plans just in case your way doesn't work
I don't trust you to get it right and I try to provide for myself.
But, Lord you're my provider, how can I doubt you.
I praise so much that isn't praise-worthy.
Take away the mess.
Clean up my life.
I've not been very tidy with what you've given me.
Throw out the things I don't need anymore.
Smooth out and sweep up the parts of me you want to use.
Remind me of your promises
Don't allow me to forget them
You have shown me yourself time and time again
but somehow I keep asking, thinking I need more proof.
Don't allow me to forget what you've done in my life.
I long for a time when you'll give me words that are bigger than any I can speak here on Earth.
I yearn for the opportunity to be pure and holy and to bow down before you.
I am desperate for a time when I will no longer have these trials and struggles,
where I will no longer stumble and fall in my sinful desires.
Lord, who am I but your creation?
Who am I to take this life as my own?
Why do I keep trying to hold onto the reigns?
You've promised me you'll keep me, that you won't let go.
Why am I so afraid to give you all of me?
The questions bring more questions,
and the trials never seem to end.
I falter and I fail you
over and over again.
I hung you on a cross - how is it that you still take me in?
I've nailed your hands and feet,
my transgressions were there on Calvary.
You felt the pain of my disobedience.
Your father turned his face away.
Oh, why do you love this mocker?
Tears stain my face and my sins mar and blemish me.
I am so in need, so desperate.
I am nothing without you.
I boast in nothing, beside your sacrifice.
Your death and resurrection has brought me into real life.
Lord, how can it be that you sent your son for me?
Why would you humble yourself just to set us free?
We've become a nation of unbelief
- and I hardly trust my ability
to praise you as I should, Lord, I need your stability.
I run to other gods and fill my life with clutter
I make back-up plans just in case your way doesn't work
I don't trust you to get it right and I try to provide for myself.
But, Lord you're my provider, how can I doubt you.
I praise so much that isn't praise-worthy.
Take away the mess.
Clean up my life.
I've not been very tidy with what you've given me.
Throw out the things I don't need anymore.
Smooth out and sweep up the parts of me you want to use.
Remind me of your promises
Don't allow me to forget them
You have shown me yourself time and time again
but somehow I keep asking, thinking I need more proof.
Don't allow me to forget what you've done in my life.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
I'll just listen
I have nothing to say,
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
I start to speak and reach my end too soon.
I begin to praise you and can only repeat myself.
There is so much more than I can say.
How can my human words even describe you?
Whenever I speak it seems too simple.
My words cannot contain you.
My lips can't utter anything that describes you well.
I cannot even share how much you love me.
I have nothing to say,
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
You are indescribable,
uncontainable, and incomprehensible.
I could go on forever,
but I'd run out of words.
Describe Yourself to me.
Only Your words can reveal the truth.
Your beauty can only be expressed fully by who You are.
I'll just listen.
That's it.
I have nothing to say,
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
I start to speak and reach my end too soon.
I begin to praise you and can only repeat myself.
There is so much more than I can say.
How can my human words even describe you?
Whenever I speak it seems too simple.
My words cannot contain you.
My lips can't utter anything that describes you well.
I cannot even share how much you love me.
I have nothing to say,
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
You are indescribable,
uncontainable, and incomprehensible.
I could go on forever,
but I'd run out of words.
Describe Yourself to me.
Only Your words can reveal the truth.
Your beauty can only be expressed fully by who You are.
I'll just listen.
That's it.
I have nothing to say,
There are no words to explain,
And my language is not adequate enough to express,
so I'll just listen.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Abba
I call you Adonai, Lord
I call you Alpha and Omega,
Immanuel, you are with us,
I understand that you are YHWH forever.
El Olam, I know that you're everlasting,
I get that you're eternal.
You are the capstone, the most important one.
You became flesh and you are the Word.
Son of God but so very human,
I AM is what you call yourself.
Jehovah Jireh, I trust you will provide.
You are my shepherd and my master.
But Abba, Lord, what does that mean?
Lord I pray to understand a Heavenly father.
I can understand the things that are so inhuman,
but Father, Lord, I need to learn.
Help me not to think of earth.
Show me a father who loves unconditionally.
Help me to comprehend a father in your terms
and to experience what it means to be your daughter.
I call you Alpha and Omega,
Immanuel, you are with us,
I understand that you are YHWH forever.
El Olam, I know that you're everlasting,
I get that you're eternal.
You are the capstone, the most important one.
You became flesh and you are the Word.
Son of God but so very human,
I AM is what you call yourself.
Jehovah Jireh, I trust you will provide.
You are my shepherd and my master.
But Abba, Lord, what does that mean?
Lord I pray to understand a Heavenly father.
I can understand the things that are so inhuman,
but Father, Lord, I need to learn.
Help me not to think of earth.
Show me a father who loves unconditionally.
Help me to comprehend a father in your terms
and to experience what it means to be your daughter.
A New Name
Once I was called Sinner,
But now I am redeemed.
I once was named broken,
But now I am complete.
Only you, Jehovah Mekoddishkem.
You make me holy and you sanctify me.
You, yourself, set me apart
and made me more than I was.
You've refined me because of who you are.
You've given me a brand new name.
You've started things and they will be finished.
You've planned it and it will be done.
But now I am redeemed.
I once was named broken,
But now I am complete.
Only you, Jehovah Mekoddishkem.
You make me holy and you sanctify me.
You, yourself, set me apart
and made me more than I was.
You've refined me because of who you are.
You've given me a brand new name.
You've started things and they will be finished.
You've planned it and it will be done.
Monday, October 15, 2007
It Doesn't Matter at All
Let go of your senses, close your eyes and just breath.
Let down your walls, stop holding them up.
Your arms are tired.
Rest your arms, Child;
Rest your mind.
You use all of your strength, you use all of your power;
Why won't you just let us in.
Release your grip and allow life to fall...
Allow your world to crumble.
It doesn't matter at all.
Let down your walls, stop holding them up.
Your arms are tired.
Rest your arms, Child;
Rest your mind.
You use all of your strength, you use all of your power;
Why won't you just let us in.
Release your grip and allow life to fall...
Allow your world to crumble.
It doesn't matter at all.
Only Then Can You Move On
Recover the feelings you learned to supress.
Rediscover what it means to hurt.
Feel the pain and suffering.
Let this life make you cry.
Let the emotions enter.
Be overcome.
Rediscover what it means to hurt.
Feel the pain and suffering.
Let this life make you cry.
Let the emotions enter.
Be overcome.
The Dance
Dancing to the silence
the music in her head seems to fill the room
every movement flows with such grace
-
he stands in the doorway watching her,
speechless, he doesn't dare interrupt her
she is so beautiful to him
-
eyes closed she twirls on the dirty kitchen floor
transforming the house into a castle
changing the ripped pants she's wearing into a beautiful flowing dress
her disheveled hair is long and shiny and is put up into a perfect bun...
this is how she looks during her dance
-
she reveals what is on the inside during this dance and
that girl who has been through so much,
who has been beaten, abused, and rejected her whole life
is an untouched princess during this dance
-
he looks on and her eyes open to meet his
she abruptly stops her dance and is again the girl she was before
she returns to her sadness and her life of pain
but for a moment she knew what it was like to be a queen
the music in her head seems to fill the room
every movement flows with such grace
-
he stands in the doorway watching her,
speechless, he doesn't dare interrupt her
she is so beautiful to him
-
eyes closed she twirls on the dirty kitchen floor
transforming the house into a castle
changing the ripped pants she's wearing into a beautiful flowing dress
her disheveled hair is long and shiny and is put up into a perfect bun...
this is how she looks during her dance
-
she reveals what is on the inside during this dance and
that girl who has been through so much,
who has been beaten, abused, and rejected her whole life
is an untouched princess during this dance
-
he looks on and her eyes open to meet his
she abruptly stops her dance and is again the girl she was before
she returns to her sadness and her life of pain
but for a moment she knew what it was like to be a queen
Fall Into Him
Fall into Him,
give Him the power.
-
Depend on Him,
trust His wisdom.
-
Cry out for Him,
lose your dignity.
-
Fall to your knees,
surrender your life.
-
Let go of your dreams,
let Him lead you now.
give Him the power.
-
Depend on Him,
trust His wisdom.
-
Cry out for Him,
lose your dignity.
-
Fall to your knees,
surrender your life.
-
Let go of your dreams,
let Him lead you now.
But, I've Run from You...
I'm scared,
but you say, "Do not fear!"
I'm worried,
but you ask, "Why should you be?"
I'm praying,
and you say, "That's good, now listen."
I'm trying,
and you say, "You're doing well, keep it up!"
I'm giving MY all,
and you ask, "Can I help?"
I'm shaking,
but you stand firm.
I say, "I have no friends,"
you say, "You're MY friend."
I'm lost,
and you say, "I'll show you the way."
I say, "I don't know,"
you say, "I do."
I've run from you,
yelled at you,
doubted you, and all you say is: "I love you and I will NEVER leave you."
but you say, "Do not fear!"
I'm worried,
but you ask, "Why should you be?"
I'm praying,
and you say, "That's good, now listen."
I'm trying,
and you say, "You're doing well, keep it up!"
I'm giving MY all,
and you ask, "Can I help?"
I'm shaking,
but you stand firm.
I say, "I have no friends,"
you say, "You're MY friend."
I'm lost,
and you say, "I'll show you the way."
I say, "I don't know,"
you say, "I do."
I've run from you,
yelled at you,
doubted you, and all you say is: "I love you and I will NEVER leave you."
Clouds of Life
The clouds of life roll by
Without a care in the world
They don't wait
Sometimes the most pleasant times
Are the ones that pass by so quickly
While I sit back and watch in awe as these times fly by
I need to be jumping aboard before they pass me by
I get on for a while sometimes but lose my balance
Not noticing what is right ahead.
Dark clouds I have passed
Sometimes come back quicker
Than the bright ones on which I float
Sometimes I have to work to stay on the bright clouds
Sometimes the enemy seems such a simpler cloud to ride
The broad area that it takes up,
No holes, just a thick, dark, morbid cloud
Devouring the skies
These dark clouds move at so quick a pace
Destroying everything and everyone in their path
They take you down ten times faster
Than the uplifting clouds raise you up
Happiness takes time,
Depression takes you down quickly along with others around you
It wears you out and then spits you out on the earth
As one of many insignificant rain drops.
The angels tears are in these rain drops
For a life lost to the world and that of the world
Rain drops sink into the ground
And get sucked into the earth.
But, just as everything seems lost,
The sunlight, an old friend,
One that always smiled and shined on you
As you floated and drifted by on cloud 9,
lifts you up, pulls you back in, and sets you back on cloud nine only to endure the process again.
Thank you to all my "sun's" for lifting me from the darkness and foolishness of this world
Thanks for ripping me from the grasp of this earth that I was so deeply sucked into. Thank you for reminding me of the bright clouds and lifting me to them
Without a care in the world
They don't wait
Sometimes the most pleasant times
Are the ones that pass by so quickly
While I sit back and watch in awe as these times fly by
I need to be jumping aboard before they pass me by
I get on for a while sometimes but lose my balance
Not noticing what is right ahead.
Dark clouds I have passed
Sometimes come back quicker
Than the bright ones on which I float
Sometimes I have to work to stay on the bright clouds
Sometimes the enemy seems such a simpler cloud to ride
The broad area that it takes up,
No holes, just a thick, dark, morbid cloud
Devouring the skies
These dark clouds move at so quick a pace
Destroying everything and everyone in their path
They take you down ten times faster
Than the uplifting clouds raise you up
Happiness takes time,
Depression takes you down quickly along with others around you
It wears you out and then spits you out on the earth
As one of many insignificant rain drops.
The angels tears are in these rain drops
For a life lost to the world and that of the world
Rain drops sink into the ground
And get sucked into the earth.
But, just as everything seems lost,
The sunlight, an old friend,
One that always smiled and shined on you
As you floated and drifted by on cloud 9,
lifts you up, pulls you back in, and sets you back on cloud nine only to endure the process again.
Thank you to all my "sun's" for lifting me from the darkness and foolishness of this world
Thanks for ripping me from the grasp of this earth that I was so deeply sucked into. Thank you for reminding me of the bright clouds and lifting me to them
Box of Crayons
They all started beautiful
Sorted by color,
All with a protective covering,
Equal in all ways but shade,
All sizes and shapes the same
Over time some were worn out,
Ripped apart, lost, overused or underused,
Still some were kept in tact
On these few you could see their name,
Unaltered by any effects
These were never seen though,
They were kept stored away and never let out
No one was able to see their color
Now the question lay in my mind,
Which is greater:
To be the unseen crayon, Or to show myself to others and run the risk of being used
Sorted by color,
All with a protective covering,
Equal in all ways but shade,
All sizes and shapes the same
Over time some were worn out,
Ripped apart, lost, overused or underused,
Still some were kept in tact
On these few you could see their name,
Unaltered by any effects
These were never seen though,
They were kept stored away and never let out
No one was able to see their color
Now the question lay in my mind,
Which is greater:
To be the unseen crayon, Or to show myself to others and run the risk of being used
Symphony
I sit cross-legged in the dull shades of my room and heart.
A full symphony surrounds me.
This glorious music arose from behind the radio's speakers.
It has now enveloped me in its highs, lows, warmth, sadness, bright sections that come and go, and now...emptiness.
There is suspense, an all too common lull...
But not silenced is the song that gradually redevelops and comes back into focus with a single crying soloist.
The sad song continues from the near death it has experienced.
That lonely cry is met by another and dragged back to a place where the symphony and the one again meet. Then begins the cycle to repeat as the soloist is caught and lost in this symphony of my life.
A full symphony surrounds me.
This glorious music arose from behind the radio's speakers.
It has now enveloped me in its highs, lows, warmth, sadness, bright sections that come and go, and now...emptiness.
There is suspense, an all too common lull...
But not silenced is the song that gradually redevelops and comes back into focus with a single crying soloist.
The sad song continues from the near death it has experienced.
That lonely cry is met by another and dragged back to a place where the symphony and the one again meet. Then begins the cycle to repeat as the soloist is caught and lost in this symphony of my life.
Where Are you Now?
You said you'd always be there,
Well, where are you now?
You said I'd never be scared,
But I'm frightened somehow.
You said you needed me then,
Well, I need you now.
You said you'd love me forever,
Well, where's that love now?
Well, where are you now?
You said I'd never be scared,
But I'm frightened somehow.
You said you needed me then,
Well, I need you now.
You said you'd love me forever,
Well, where's that love now?
When You Cry (You're not alone)
When you cry...
It’s not just tears streaming down your face.
When you cry...
It’s not just coming from your eyes.
When you cry...
It’s something deeper,
Something more.
When you cry...
Your heart sinks, and breaks,
You are tearing up and ripping apart from the inside out.
But when you cry you aren't alone.
You don't know it, but I am crying right beside you.
I don't know what to say because if I spoke I would weep.
When you hurt...I hurt.
When you're scared...I am terrified.
When you're depressed I'm standing there...breaking down right in front of you...
It’s not just tears streaming down your face.
When you cry...
It’s not just coming from your eyes.
When you cry...
It’s something deeper,
Something more.
When you cry...
Your heart sinks, and breaks,
You are tearing up and ripping apart from the inside out.
But when you cry you aren't alone.
You don't know it, but I am crying right beside you.
I don't know what to say because if I spoke I would weep.
When you hurt...I hurt.
When you're scared...I am terrified.
When you're depressed I'm standing there...breaking down right in front of you...
This World Doesn't Need You
Pour out the bottle of perfume,
Throw away the potpourri,
Get rid of the make-up and the fancy clothes,
Stop living for the world around you.
Stop caring what others want...
They don't see you for the amazing person you are.
This world doesn't care if you fall,
Or if you only live to please them,
BUT I DO...
Open up, let me see your soul,
Tell me things,
Would you give me something?
I'm giving you all my care and love and hope...
You're not even listening....
This world doesn't need you...
I DO
Please
BE HAPPY
Have joy in your heart...that's all I ask of you.
Throw away the potpourri,
Get rid of the make-up and the fancy clothes,
Stop living for the world around you.
Stop caring what others want...
They don't see you for the amazing person you are.
This world doesn't care if you fall,
Or if you only live to please them,
BUT I DO...
Open up, let me see your soul,
Tell me things,
Would you give me something?
I'm giving you all my care and love and hope...
You're not even listening....
This world doesn't need you...
I DO
Please
BE HAPPY
Have joy in your heart...that's all I ask of you.
Shiver
A trickle,
A small twinge made its way down her back.
How subtle it was...but from something so huge.
A feeling, one of insecurity and fear.
Vulnerable and weak and young was she.
Totally in the hands of her own emotions.
A scary thought, one that reminded her that she wasn't as independent as she thought.
Jarred into the realization that she was human and could be moved by the slightest things...
A chilled wind against her arm,
The touch of a loved one,
A touching line in a movie, The nervousness and insecurity of knowing that she DOESN'T know what the next minute is going to bring or what is just around the corner.
A small twinge made its way down her back.
How subtle it was...but from something so huge.
A feeling, one of insecurity and fear.
Vulnerable and weak and young was she.
Totally in the hands of her own emotions.
A scary thought, one that reminded her that she wasn't as independent as she thought.
Jarred into the realization that she was human and could be moved by the slightest things...
A chilled wind against her arm,
The touch of a loved one,
A touching line in a movie, The nervousness and insecurity of knowing that she DOESN'T know what the next minute is going to bring or what is just around the corner.
Lost in Memories
Fly back to a time when life was so full, free, easy-going...
Think back to a time when the songs sung were made up of candy and silly verses...
Jump into the shoes of a child, playing was the only thing on her mind...
Matters of life and death made no sense to her...easily she brushed these aside.
Running and going nowhere, running just to run.
Never trying to get anywhere but home...right down the street.
The limits were set and they weren’t questioned, there was no reason for question...
Life was entertaining as it was.
Every day filled with hours of fun and friends.
The biggest dilemma facing the girl was having to go inside when the lights of the sun were turned off for the night.
Wanting that again, I am forced to return to the body and mind of a 15 year-old girl...
Knowing what tragedies face me and how vulnerable I really am...
Realizing that life is suffering and that independence and maturity takes work.
Finding out that all friendships won't mend as easily as they used to.
Crying fills each night, and a mask of joy covers my face during the day.
Writing brings me back...the world is nothing when I am able to make a life unlike my own...just by writing it on paper.
I can transform myself into a beautiful model and live a perfect existence... Until the book closes and I slam into the wall of my own life and hit the ground hard with no real escape.
Think back to a time when the songs sung were made up of candy and silly verses...
Jump into the shoes of a child, playing was the only thing on her mind...
Matters of life and death made no sense to her...easily she brushed these aside.
Running and going nowhere, running just to run.
Never trying to get anywhere but home...right down the street.
The limits were set and they weren’t questioned, there was no reason for question...
Life was entertaining as it was.
Every day filled with hours of fun and friends.
The biggest dilemma facing the girl was having to go inside when the lights of the sun were turned off for the night.
Wanting that again, I am forced to return to the body and mind of a 15 year-old girl...
Knowing what tragedies face me and how vulnerable I really am...
Realizing that life is suffering and that independence and maturity takes work.
Finding out that all friendships won't mend as easily as they used to.
Crying fills each night, and a mask of joy covers my face during the day.
Writing brings me back...the world is nothing when I am able to make a life unlike my own...just by writing it on paper.
I can transform myself into a beautiful model and live a perfect existence... Until the book closes and I slam into the wall of my own life and hit the ground hard with no real escape.
Don't Wait Your Life Away
Sometimes people wait too long.
Moments come and moments go,
Yet somehow they stand still.
Like the best piece of meat,
Set-aside until the end.
Then it falls to the floor
Or is eaten by somebody else.
Or a piece of candy left for later,
Only to be melted in the heat.
Never should living be set-aside until later.
Never should a moment be passed by
Without living it out to the end.
Tomorrow's never been promised.
Don't wait around for things to happen; Make things happen!
Moments come and moments go,
Yet somehow they stand still.
Like the best piece of meat,
Set-aside until the end.
Then it falls to the floor
Or is eaten by somebody else.
Or a piece of candy left for later,
Only to be melted in the heat.
Never should living be set-aside until later.
Never should a moment be passed by
Without living it out to the end.
Tomorrow's never been promised.
Don't wait around for things to happen; Make things happen!
Don't Cover Your Face Anymore
Don't cover your face anymore
Don't hide the thoughts you've been thinking
Don't be who this world wants you to be
Be who you were made to be.
This world isn't good enough for you
There is so much more waiting for you
Open your mind and realize it
Learn how to be joyful no matter what the situation
Free your heart and mind
Don't be dependant on anyone...
Live for a greater reward.
Don't ever give up.
I love you!
Don't hide the thoughts you've been thinking
Don't be who this world wants you to be
Be who you were made to be.
This world isn't good enough for you
There is so much more waiting for you
Open your mind and realize it
Learn how to be joyful no matter what the situation
Free your heart and mind
Don't be dependant on anyone...
Live for a greater reward.
Don't ever give up.
I love you!
A Life so Fragile and Easy to be Stirred...
A life so fragile,
And easy to be stirred;
A mind so innocent,
And beautiful and pure;
A heart so caring,
And compassionate and free;
Eyes that hop up and down with each step;
A laugh that fills the room with joy;
Five years old, her voice is filled with excitement and cheer;
There is a spring in her step.
-
Five years pass...
Same beautiful, innocent mind;
Same compassionate heart;
Same eyes that bounce up and down;
Same joyful, silly laugh;
Same excited voice;
Same spring in her step;
And still as fragile as before...
-
Another five years fly right by...
Vulnerable and unsure,
Her mind is filled with foolish thoughts;
An unwelcoming, imprisoned heart lay dormant inside her;
Her eyes no longer bounce, but now stick to the floor as she walks;
No longer does she laugh or smile;
A small voice, almost a whisper, comes only when needed with simple yes' and no's
Her feet drag with each step;
A life so fragile,
And easy to be stirred.
-
Five more years go by...
Only now -
No more thoughts enter her head;
A heart no longer beats inside of her;
Eyes no longer open to the sun;
No laugh or smile ever makes its way to her face;
No longer does she speak at all,
Or walk around...
Her life was in her hands...
So fragile and easy to be stirred.
She was pushed to her limits and didn't know where to turn.
Slowly she fell into the hole she'd dug and sooner than she knew she was lost...
With no way out but to take her own life.
-
A life so fragile, And easy to be stirred...
And easy to be stirred;
A mind so innocent,
And beautiful and pure;
A heart so caring,
And compassionate and free;
Eyes that hop up and down with each step;
A laugh that fills the room with joy;
Five years old, her voice is filled with excitement and cheer;
There is a spring in her step.
-
Five years pass...
Same beautiful, innocent mind;
Same compassionate heart;
Same eyes that bounce up and down;
Same joyful, silly laugh;
Same excited voice;
Same spring in her step;
And still as fragile as before...
-
Another five years fly right by...
Vulnerable and unsure,
Her mind is filled with foolish thoughts;
An unwelcoming, imprisoned heart lay dormant inside her;
Her eyes no longer bounce, but now stick to the floor as she walks;
No longer does she laugh or smile;
A small voice, almost a whisper, comes only when needed with simple yes' and no's
Her feet drag with each step;
A life so fragile,
And easy to be stirred.
-
Five more years go by...
Only now -
No more thoughts enter her head;
A heart no longer beats inside of her;
Eyes no longer open to the sun;
No laugh or smile ever makes its way to her face;
No longer does she speak at all,
Or walk around...
Her life was in her hands...
So fragile and easy to be stirred.
She was pushed to her limits and didn't know where to turn.
Slowly she fell into the hole she'd dug and sooner than she knew she was lost...
With no way out but to take her own life.
-
A life so fragile, And easy to be stirred...
All She Can Do is Pray to the Heavens...
She awakens to the scent of mud and wet grass,
She wears a blouse of brown.
The taste on her lips is of blood and sweat.
Her arms are tiny and weak.
-
She feels around in the pocket of her worn blue jeans
To find a nickel or two for food
But all she finds is a baggie of white stuff
She bought it from some dude.
-
All she can do now is cry for moments
Cry for the night
Cry for the future.
All she can do is pray to heavens
For a better day today
-
What will she do with the time she's wasted?
What will she do with the blood she's tasted?
What will she do when she sobers up and finds out that she's alone?
What will she do for today?
Beautiful Weather on Such a Terrible Tragedy
The flames surround and move in around you.
You are suffocating, falling, giving in, it is all closing up now.
One more struggle, then you just let go.
I'm coming home; We're going home you think as you sink back into the bed, collapsing beside your baby. You meant to save her, to pull her from the wreakage, but now you both will be gone. At least we're together - your passing thoughts. You gasp; Your baby breaths in, chest rising, next to you. A second later - the exhale. It's all over.
The door busts in. A policeman calls. It all falls on deaf ears, but Oh how he yells... A moment too late. A total loss. Finding dead a mother and child, yet a slight smile at the corners of the mother's face causes a second glance before he drags the corpses from the still-crackling flames. Out the remains of the broken in door, into the uncomfortable sunshine. "Beautiful weather we're having today," the weatherman had said. How can the weather be so great on a tragedy such as this? A woman and child taken too soon, but a perplexing smile, says it's all alright. Tears seep from the eyes of the growing crowd. Shouldn't it be raining? Shouldn't God be crying? Shouldn't all His angels weep beside him?
You are suffocating, falling, giving in, it is all closing up now.
One more struggle, then you just let go.
I'm coming home; We're going home you think as you sink back into the bed, collapsing beside your baby. You meant to save her, to pull her from the wreakage, but now you both will be gone. At least we're together - your passing thoughts. You gasp; Your baby breaths in, chest rising, next to you. A second later - the exhale. It's all over.
The door busts in. A policeman calls. It all falls on deaf ears, but Oh how he yells... A moment too late. A total loss. Finding dead a mother and child, yet a slight smile at the corners of the mother's face causes a second glance before he drags the corpses from the still-crackling flames. Out the remains of the broken in door, into the uncomfortable sunshine. "Beautiful weather we're having today," the weatherman had said. How can the weather be so great on a tragedy such as this? A woman and child taken too soon, but a perplexing smile, says it's all alright. Tears seep from the eyes of the growing crowd. Shouldn't it be raining? Shouldn't God be crying? Shouldn't all His angels weep beside him?
How Can We Recover?
The world is racing when all I want to do is stop.
I just want to be able to live.
Everything is so rushed,
Everything is so hushed,
Nothing is how it should be.
The secrets are stirring and everyone gets involved.
Lives are being torn apart and the gossip is growing.
We'll never be the same after this.
You know we'll never be the same.
I just want to be able to live.
Everything is so rushed,
Everything is so hushed,
Nothing is how it should be.
The secrets are stirring and everyone gets involved.
Lives are being torn apart and the gossip is growing.
We'll never be the same after this.
You know we'll never be the same.
Lift Your Hands and Lift Your Heart
When it feels like the whole world is falling down on you,
When your life is caving in all around you,
When you don't know where to turn,
When everyone is gone and everything is over,
Lift your hands and lift your heart
Because we can't do this alone.
When your life is caving in all around you,
When you don't know where to turn,
When everyone is gone and everything is over,
Lift your hands and lift your heart
Because we can't do this alone.
Don't let go of the Dreams
Do you ever feel like this is all too much to take?
Do you ever feel like you'll never make it though?
Do you ever feel like your heart just can't break anymore?
Well I know.
Sometimes it feels like we're in this alone.
Sometimes it seems like the world just won't wait.
Sometimes it feels like we're all falling fast...
And we just, we just can't escape.
When the sky seems to barely be holding itself up,
When the world isn't spinning quite enough,
When the traffic won't move and we're all slipping slowly away...
Just remember what it was like.
Just remember the times when we all seemed so sure.
Remember when we were so anxious to move.
We all wanted something and it seemed like it just might have worked...
That's how it was.
Don't give up on the memories and don't let go of the dreams,
Even though it seems the light has burnt out...
What else is there but hope now?
Hold onto the hope, hold onto the dream.
Do you ever feel like you'll never make it though?
Do you ever feel like your heart just can't break anymore?
Well I know.
Sometimes it feels like we're in this alone.
Sometimes it seems like the world just won't wait.
Sometimes it feels like we're all falling fast...
And we just, we just can't escape.
When the sky seems to barely be holding itself up,
When the world isn't spinning quite enough,
When the traffic won't move and we're all slipping slowly away...
Just remember what it was like.
Just remember the times when we all seemed so sure.
Remember when we were so anxious to move.
We all wanted something and it seemed like it just might have worked...
That's how it was.
Don't give up on the memories and don't let go of the dreams,
Even though it seems the light has burnt out...
What else is there but hope now?
Hold onto the hope, hold onto the dream.
Here is My Rose...
Here's my rose.
I know it's a little wilted,
I know it's a little dark around the edges.
I know it's not new and freshly-picked,
but it holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
There are thorns attached to my stem, so sorry if I prick you.
I can't help it, some things I was just born with.
These things are from my roots.
Still my rose holds all of my beauty,
...and all of my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
I give it to you.
Please water it.
Please tell me you love it.
Tell me it's lovely.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here's my rose.
It has seen storms.
It's been blown about and tossed in the wind.
It's been trampled on,
but somehow it's still here.
It holds all of my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
I'm letting it go.
Do with it what you please.
Trim it up, put it in a vase,
but whatever you do,
Don't shatter it, please.
It holds all of my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
Here is my life.
Shatter my rose.
Shatter my life.
I give you all of me.
My rose is yours to keep.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
Filled with "I love you's,"
and "I love you nots,"
I've run out of petals.
Take better care of my rose than I have.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
I know it's a little wilted,
I know it's a little dark around the edges.
I know it's not new and freshly-picked,
but it holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
There are thorns attached to my stem, so sorry if I prick you.
I can't help it, some things I was just born with.
These things are from my roots.
Still my rose holds all of my beauty,
...and all of my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
I give it to you.
Please water it.
Please tell me you love it.
Tell me it's lovely.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here's my rose.
It has seen storms.
It's been blown about and tossed in the wind.
It's been trampled on,
but somehow it's still here.
It holds all of my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
I'm letting it go.
Do with it what you please.
Trim it up, put it in a vase,
but whatever you do,
Don't shatter it, please.
It holds all of my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
Here is my life.
Shatter my rose.
Shatter my life.
I give you all of me.
My rose is yours to keep.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
Here is my rose.
Filled with "I love you's,"
and "I love you nots,"
I've run out of petals.
Take better care of my rose than I have.
It holds all my beauty,
...and all my imperfections.
You are My Home
You sing me to sleep
You bring me your peace
Distractions mean nothing
You are my Lord.
You wrote my name in your book
You gave me joy beyond words
You knew when I needed you
just to be there.
You gave me your word
And you gave me your son.
You died on a cross -
My Victory's won!
I turn from you
and stray from you
You chase after me
and call out my name
In the darkness you search,
though I continue to hide.
I take and I take
but you continue to strive.
You come running with open arms
You hold me and envelope me
You protect me and heal me
I am yours forever.
It's just me and you here
Nothing else matters
You hug me tight
and carry me home
You lift me up and let me rest
You turn my troubles into joy
You teach me and you answer me
You are my Lord
I love you and I need you
Yo necesito tu amor
You make me who you created me to be
You are working and changing me,
and I am only at home in you.
You bring me your peace
Distractions mean nothing
You are my Lord.
You wrote my name in your book
You gave me joy beyond words
You knew when I needed you
just to be there.
You gave me your word
And you gave me your son.
You died on a cross -
My Victory's won!
I turn from you
and stray from you
You chase after me
and call out my name
In the darkness you search,
though I continue to hide.
I take and I take
but you continue to strive.
You come running with open arms
You hold me and envelope me
You protect me and heal me
I am yours forever.
It's just me and you here
Nothing else matters
You hug me tight
and carry me home
You lift me up and let me rest
You turn my troubles into joy
You teach me and you answer me
You are my Lord
I love you and I need you
Yo necesito tu amor
You make me who you created me to be
You are working and changing me,
and I am only at home in you.
We are 'Christians,' so we are murderers
We say we are "Christians." We say we're okay. We say we're going to heaven. All of this may be true, but sometimes we don't seem to realize the weight of those statements...We are are "Christians" because Jesus died for us, but not only did he die for us, he died BECAUSE of us. Every time we sin it's like killing Jesus all over again, it's us hammering the nails into his hands and feet. We torture Jesus with our lies and our deceit. We mock him when we don't trust him completely...We say "You can't do it, you aren't the Lord, you just don't understand" every time we deny his power and ability in ANY circumstance. Lots of times I find myself and others weighing sins saying, "Ok, yeah, we ALL sin, but come on, it's not like I killed a man...," but the truth of the matter is that I DID kill a man. I actually killed the man who saved my life. I am a murderer. Every time I commit just a "little" sin in the world's eyes I commit homicide. My sins and your sins are what caused our savior to lie in the ground for three days; They are what caused our Maker to suffer. Jesus didn't just die physically but he suffered emotionally as well...he took on all the weight of all of the pain we feel from any sin we commit...and that goes for every single person on earth. As much as our sins hurt us sometimes (some people it changes their entire lives and totally ruins them, and he took on EVERY SINGLE PERSON'S pain all at one time). We are brutal whenever we sin against him. It hits him deep down in his soul, every "little" sin we commit. Every time we turn from God his heart breaks.
As He took on the sins of the world, of me and you, "...Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?' - which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'" (Mark 15:34) He felt complete abandonment from God, his father, because God could not even so much as look at Jesus with all of the sin. It was too much for God to handle. He could not stand to even look at sin, but that is why Jesus had to come in order for us to have a way to heaven and to our Lord. Jesus bridged the gap and now God can look at us and see only perfection, no sin stains us...we come clean before him, washed white as snow, Jesus has redeemed us of all of our sins, no matter how "big" or "small" we seem to think those sins are...
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" -Romans 8:1
As He took on the sins of the world, of me and you, "...Jesus cried out in a loud voice, 'Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?' - which means 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'" (Mark 15:34) He felt complete abandonment from God, his father, because God could not even so much as look at Jesus with all of the sin. It was too much for God to handle. He could not stand to even look at sin, but that is why Jesus had to come in order for us to have a way to heaven and to our Lord. Jesus bridged the gap and now God can look at us and see only perfection, no sin stains us...we come clean before him, washed white as snow, Jesus has redeemed us of all of our sins, no matter how "big" or "small" we seem to think those sins are...
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" -Romans 8:1
To begin...
My name is Jenny. I am using this blog to post some of my old poems and things I have written and hopefully any new ones I can write as well.
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